Purpose Driven Life.

What was I made for?

I’m jealous of people that know what their life’s purpose is. Better still, people that have a plan for their lives all figured out.

While having a plan doesn’t necessarily equate said plan being feasible, it’s still a plan.

It’s better than having nothing.

I feel like an unserious person. I genuinely don’t know what I want to do with my life. Which is funny (not funny haha, funny weird, as in there’s fire on the mountain type of funny) because I’m young but I’m not getting any younger.

I want to do a lot of things. I have multiple future ambitions. This makes me feel like a naive 8 year old but it’s the truth. There’s no one specific thing I want to do with my life. Or at least I haven’t figured it out yet.

There’s A LOT of things I want to do with my life, I can’t imagine doing just one thing.

Life and growth are not linear and there’s no one path to follow to succeed. But that’s the issue though isn’t it? I live in a third world country that’s poverty capital of the world. My choices are grossly limited. (Sorry to be such a pessimist and yes I know I have to make the best of it yada yada).  Nigeria steals so much from you as a young person. You spend so much time and energy struggling with low quality problems that you sometimes forget WHY you’re fighting these issues in the first place.

Let’s assume you work remotely. You’re spending so much time and money trying to get light and internet that you forget WHY you need those things in the first place. You’ll first go on twitter to lay curses on MTN and NEPA for locking you out when you want to lock in.

Anyway, I digress.

Purpose. I’m genuinely curious what my purpose in life is. Or if I even have one. I’m not sure I believe in that “everyone has a purpose”narrative. (Maybe I’m just a doubting Thomas. When I figure out my own purpose, I’ll believe).

It’s excusable if you’re not sure what you want to do with your life at 19. It’s rough play when you’re 23 and you still don’t know because time really does fly. The days might be long but the years are painfully short. Imagine going to sleep one day thinking you have time and waking up and you’re 40 and you don’t know where all the time went and what you did with it.

Society tells us we have to be one thing, how then do people who have multiple ambitions fall in line with that? And that’s the point I’m trying to make. You don’t have to fall in line. In fact, step out of line and scatter it altogether. Who says you have to pick one thing and stick to it? (I know that sounds lofty as hell. I wonder how many people in their 40s/50s also had multiple ambitions when they were younger but had to fall in line and settle).

Semi sidebar: I really and truly feel like I’m 18 years old. 19 at best.

Maybe I don’t have a singular purpose. I don’t want to have a singular purpose. It doesn’t seem like me.

What I think is, waiting for 'Purpose' to arrive is like waiting for a bus at a bus stop that doesn't exist yet. We think purpose is a destination, but what if it's just the fuel?

For some people, it might hit them randomly, what their purpose is.

But for a lot of people, there’s never going to be a light bulb moment where you magically figure it out.

So instead of waiting and wondering what your purpose is, you get to choose what it is. You’re the pilot of your life. Take control of the narrative. And if one path doesn’t work, try another and another and another. However many times it takes you to find what you want.

We spend so much time finding ourselves when what we really should be doing, is creating ourselves.

How can you find what doesn’t exist yet?